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On the Hook

187 p.
March 2024



Boybands, By-laws, and Other
Reasons I was Banned from
the PTA

Amy Ferguson

A comic twist on the PTA, fitting in, and grown-up mean girls in LA’s San Fernando Valley

Sometimes the only difference between a geeky girl in middle-school with a glittery pen and a middle-aged mom in an affluent neighborhood in Los Angeles is about thirty years and a position on the PTA. Nancy Schaffer a witty, occasionally snarky, spazzy, wife and middle-aged mom, is obsessed with pop-culture. Though, again, she is very much a middle-aged mom. She knows this. Her husband reminds her of this, her mirror and her aching back remind her of this, but see, it’s all circumstantial because on the inside, Nancy Schaeffer, middle-aged mom, feels the same as she did when she was that geeky thirteen year old with a crush on both Kid and Play. It’s like that Jennifer Garner movie, but more like she’s 13 going on 43ish.

And then there’s the PTA, filled with pretty, rich, botox’d women who smell nice and drink wine spritzers. They talk about things like tropical vacations, “The Industry”, and celebrities, and not in the “OMG! Harry Styles cut his hair!,” way that Nancy is inclined, but more like, “I have a meeting with Brad at eleven, but I could probably squeeze a late lunch,” and none of them are like, “Brad who? Brad Pitt?!” But when Nancy really wants to know if it is Brad Pitt, these women, with their manicures and perfect hair, look at her under threaded eyebrows and laugh. (Nancy’s eyebrows, by the way, haven’t grown in properly since 1998.)

This is the story of a middle-aged mom self-destructing at a PTA meeting in her ultimate quest to fit in. As her world begins to crumble, Nancy Schaeffer, wife, and middle-aged mother, must decide if being popular is the most important thing in life… just like in Middle School.


Amy Ferguson grew up just outside of Denver, Colorado believing she was destined to be discovered as either a beat poet or a rock star. At the age of 20, her dreams of fame and Gidget beach parties eventually took her west to Los Angeles. She settled into the Valley where she spent the next 21 years sweating, searching out homes of the rich and famous, getting married, and having two amazing sons. She also joined the PTA.

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